Low self-confidence, more often than not, is a result of an accumulation of mishaps, adversities, and lack of success in our past that we’re failing to resolve and given the proper remedy.
There is, in general, no single event that we can consider as the source from which low self-confidence emanates. It is, in fact, the outcome of our failure in recognizing our true self-worth.
Low self-confidence is undeniably hampering. It would make us fail to appreciate our own capacities, capabilities, and talents, and instead, make us accept our failures as inevitable.
We’d prefer to be only in a place where we think we are safe from making mistakes, and all the humiliation it may cause. We’re always suspicious and fear from being threatened by some – real or imagined – dangers from the outside world.
Unhealthy self-esteem will restrict you to stay within the confines of your comfort zones. You wouldn’t dare to go outside of these safe spaces, because you’re sure that out there, letdowns and hurts await.
Low self-confidence development during childhood.
A low self-confidence might develop during our childhood. We have people around us, our parents, teachers, friends, and families who, unfortunately, even with the best of intentions, often emphasize our shortcomings and failures instead of our strengths and achievements. Let alone the enemies and the bullies of our life whose primary aim is to see that we’re wrecked.
So for many of us, we seem to be doomed with diminished self-esteem from the get-go.
Some of those people around you would happily remind you of your mistakes and offer you their unsolicited “wisdom” and “well-intended advice.” They’d say it with compassion that your dreams of success and a better life are impossible, and you’d be better off forgetting them altogether. You just have to accept your destiny – the destiny as defined by them. Your future will not be different than your past, so they say.
You may have been living under a constant barrage of criticisms and judgments, because of your imperfections. Those judges often forget that they are just as imperfect as the rest of us.
Also, the continual comparisons with other “more perfect” children don’t really help you develop an accurate self-image.
You can change your future by changing your today.
It’s vital to tell ourselves the truth consistently. We might have made some bad decisions in the past, and some horrendous episodes might have happened in our life, but we have what it takes within us to stand strong and go through it all winningly.
Don’t let yourself be your harshest critics. Don’t let yourself down. Have faith in the fact that you already have it within you everything you need– whether you’re aware of it or not – to make it to the next step in your journey through life. You need you to stand up and stay strong.
The bad news about our past is that we can’t do much about them. It’s happened. They’re here to stay, forever. Blaming other people, including the perpetrators of all the wrongs we experienced in our life, won’t really help our low self-confidence issue.
It certainly helps to make peace and reconcile with those who have done you wrong. But the genuine healing comes as a result of the renewing of your mind, irrespective of whether you can settle the past events or not.
We can’t change or get rid of our past. At least, not until some geniuses can come up with a working time travel machine. Until then, we’ll just have to live with it.
But here’s the good news. We don’t have to change our past to change our future.
We don’t have to ask Marty and Doc to bring us back to the past and fix whatever mistakes we’ve made and undo all those horrible things that have happened in our life.
The only thing you need to change your future is to change your today.
However small the change in the right direction you make today, will produce a consequential impact in your future as long as you’re consistent and stay on course.
Just look at two parallel lines. If you move one of the lines with only a tiny 0.1 degree, you’ll barely notice any effects on their direction. Both seem to point to the same trajectory. But if you follow the lines long enough, you’ll start to see that the two lines will end up in entirely different destinations.
So, remember this. It takes just a little change in your today to make a significant change in your future. The good news is that making those tiny changes doesn’t take much and shouldn’t be that difficult, right?
